As of December 15th, I’ve been, for all practical purposes, under house arrest.
It’s not what you think, even if you think twice. No, I haven’t been naughty, and no, I don’t have Covid.
I’m recovering from some reconstructive surgery on my leg.
This is something that I’ve kicked around for years (sorry, the puns just fall into place.) However, I’ve always shied away from having anything done to my residual limb.
After all, for a guy who’s missing half a leg, I do alright. If you’ve been with me at a clinic, you know that I regularly jump onto and off of moving carriages, long line, and ground drive horses.
In my personal life, I have no problem out-skiing my T.A.B. (Technically Able-Bodied) friends. I teach and compete in skydiving (though, to be honest, gravity does most of the work there.)
All of that said, my leg situation is far from perfect. In the past couple years, I’ve noticed that I’ve been self-limiting many of my activities. I’m not out on the mountain bike the way I used to be, I delegate tasks that involve walking, and take advantage of every motorized form of transport that I can.
All of this became really apparent when I started working with video in the past couple years. In reviewing videos, I’ve seen myself walking like a gimp. That’s just not me.
No Easy Answer
I really thought I’d solve this issue by having a new leg built. The leg I’ve been walking is close to 10 years old, and, as we all know our bodies change over 10 years time. I figured going back to the drawing board to update the kicker would get me back on track.
Enter (and exit) Grumpy the Stump
Meet my friend, Grumpy the Stump. He’s the crotchety old man that lives inside the socket of my prosthetic leg. He’s comprised of chapped, swollen scar tissue, some boney bits, and a mass of neuromas.
Old Grumpy is not much of a companion. Most of the time he lives quietly, like Gollum at the bottom of a hole. He only occasionally comes out to share commentary on life in such a way as to seed people’s nightmares.
However, he makes his presence known when it comes to fitting prosthetics. He’s a bit like the princess and a pea. I guess I can’t blame him. If I had my face stuck in a sweaty sheath for 18 hours a day, I’d be pretty raunchy too.
The long story told short is that I’ve been trying to rebuild my leg for the past few years, and never having success. Grumpy the Stump has been the main reason behind the failures. So Grumpy had to go.
Under The Knife
On the 14th of December, in the year of the Covid, I checked into a hotel that used to be a notorious prison, and took a room on the 13th floor (not kidding!) That put me right next to Mass General Hospital where I’d check in with a surgical team at 5:30 the following morning.
Grumpy got a face lift (more like a face erasure). The surgery was a combination of orthopedic, muscle relocation, neural restructuring and plastic surgery. Because, if you’re going to go in, you might as well go all-in!
This project, frankly, scares the hell out of me. I’ve spent the past 15 years integrating prosthetics into my life quite successfully. Now, I’m risking everything I’ve got going right to hopefully create something better.
Now I’m at home, on the mend after the surgery.
The big thing is that I have to stay away from the ponies for a while. Actually, I have to stay away from just about everything that I’d normally do so all those bones, muscles, skin, and most importantly nerves can settle into their new form.
It’s not like the scenes from Rocky, Hoosiers, or any of those inspirational comeback movies. It’s more like… a guy sitting around in his pajamas, trying to remain relatively quiet (cue hold music here.)
This Is Your Chance!
This is good news for you because, you could have some of my undivided attention for an hour (or two!) This would be a perfect time to hit me up for some of that one-on-one coaching you’ve been meaning to schedule.
We can share a “year in review” session about the things you did with your ponies this season. If you’ve got pictures and video, I’ll look that stuff over with you and let you know what I see.
Then I can help you make a plan for next year. We’ll set some goals and develop focus in your training for 2021. You’ll get the advice you need, tailored specifically to your unique situation.
All of this, while you’re being infinitely entertained by me, while I’m on significant doses of controlled substances!
Really, what could pass the time better?
Getting On Your Page
I know that these sessions can be like standing in front of a snowblower of information. It can be hard to take it all in at once. So I’ll set up your own private coaching page here on CoachmansDelight.com.
That page will have a recording of your coaching, plus any notes or other useful info to accomplish your goals with your pony. You can even ask those questions that you forgot to ask. When we have followup sessions, we’ll add them to your personal coaching page.
Do It Now
If you want all of this awesomeness in your life, all you have to do is sign up for Personal Coaching with me. Once you’ve purchased a block of coaching, drop me an e-mail to organize a time for us to get together online.
We’ll Zoom, then BOOM, you’ll have a big knowledge bomb dropped on you like the Dr Strangelove of carriage driving! (wait, I’m not sure that’s the best analogy 🤔)
So, what are you waiting for? Sign up now!
One Step Further
I’ll even go one step further. If you don’t feel like at the end of an hour of coaching that you got your money’s worth out of that hour, I’ll refund your tuition. Really, I’m that confident that I can help you, even through a computer screen.